Life is cruel isn't it?
I am ill, but I am still having insomnia at 5 am this morning writing this.
Have been thinking a lot lately. Especially what I have been through this year is horrendous. I can't stop myself from thinking much neither do I can stop myself from crying to sleep. Only my hubby knows what I am thinking about. I am worry, so much of worry for the family. I kept asking myself, how come, I can see so many people's future in their palm and yet I can't change a single thing that I foreseen. This is scary.....
Many things that I am doing this year is not fruitful, I am wishing next year will be better but will it? Arghhh.... let's just hope that the next day will be better. But it never. I have nobody that I can cry to, nobody I can run to. Sometimes, I just wish that the person that I were close to all these while will give me a hand and tell me, “let me help you“. Instead, she pushed me back into the deep sea on the other hand, she helped another person to be a millionaire. I am struggling but I know I'll never drown. I am a scorpion who born to fight and I am stronger than this. I am just waiting for the day to come, I'll hold my head up high and say "I have made it myself". The progress is slow, not fruitful, is the way I fertilize it is wrong?
A little bit tired, exhausted wish that I could have a 'holiday' from all these, if it ever exist.
Give myself 3 years. 3 years I will be a different person from now.
Smile.... through this storm, I finally know who cares for me the most, and who I can call good friends.